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Saturday, October 29, 2011

My Life Be Like...

Ahhhhh, where do I even begin? Is there even a beginning to begin with? Life is constant, forever moving and your permanently moving amidst the in betweens forgetting what happened at first or what happens in the end. I'm moving, lost in the sky again. I keep telling people to look at the sky but they keep giving me that crazy Sharday stare wondering what's the big deal. It appears while every one's being normal, I've got my head in the clouds yet again. I was just telling Gabby and Wendy..."Where did 2011 go???" Honestly I have no idea, it came like a gust of wind and all too quickly it left just the same, leaving me a bit speechless and chilly from the cold it left behind. I feel like 2011 just stood me up or did I stand 2011 up? Either way, we didn't care enough to figure out who wronged who, we were somehow still satisfied in whatever conclusion came out of it because here I am...still alive and still blessed because I am alive. There ARE of course some highlights but that's neither here nor there...at least not until December 31st who welcomes self reflection and life recaps with a box of Kleenex and a brand new year.

So what's been up? Nuthin, jus chillin! I got a book comin out soon and I'm gonna be pushin that book like a hustla trying to sell a cheap gold chain!!!!......except this book is not a cheap gold chain AT ALL. *I'm smiling* What is enclosed in this book is the me that nobody sees or knows because there's something about the pen that I can't stop confiding in and the paper just listens, always listening. I could go on and on cuz I'm weird like that but it's simple...I can write better than I speak and once you read this book, you'll definitely agree. It's a natural thing like love, you're not supposed to get it, you feel it and you follow it. I'm excited because it took a team and man, did I get a dream team. All our efforts paid off and we truly created something to be proud of. Awwww man, I can't wait!!!!!

I finally watched something educational on Netflix but it had sex in the title so does that even count. I hope it counts. It's gotta count. Anyway, it was interesting to me for A many of reasons. The video talked about how the subtlest sounds, sights and smells and how it can affect sex appeal, and the genetic, hormonal and neurological factors which can create sparks between people. During the video I had my "yeeeah right" moments and then those "hmmm oh really" moments or the "well that makes sense" moments. One of the studies talked about how we are attracted not to the lopsided face but to the equal sided face, which is good to know because if I fell in love with the man trapped downstairs in the Goonies movie, I would be so ticked OFF! Another study traced where men's eyes go when they look at a woman which they focus on the hips of all places. They say its because the bigger the hip, the more mature...past puberty mature and you're pretty much baby ready.

I found the studies during a woman's ovulation interesting because apparently we talk higher, we look younger, and we just rope em on in! I guess I was curious because when I'm out about going to work, there's always a man trying to get SOMETHING. Your phone number, a date, a name, an age, if you have a boyfriend....all these questions I don't feel like answering especially to some stranger. But I would wonder, what is it about me that makes you want me so badly, that makes you act so persistently. Ok, there's the obvious man wants sex but for the one's that's deeper than that, it is a curious thing to know what that "thing" is exactly that is drawing this particular person to you.

Ok, what else??? "...we're going to skate to one song...one song only." Except me Gabby ride to it every time we go out and put it on repeat. "No one knows what it means but its provocative." And may I add addicting. Gotta love Ye and Jay for that one...."And they going gorillas HUH!"

I swear the crazies on the bus go round and round, round and round, round and round...
So its about 9am when I get on the 381 bus headed east towards the Dan Ryan and I have my headphones on to tune the crazies out but one episode occurred where I turned the music off to let the crazies in! This poor child on the bus which I'm assuming he had autism or some socially corrupted quality because he blew my mind. At first I didn't have my headphones on but this kid, who was with his father, was talking extremely loud and obnoxious to him about a game maybe, an adventure, some sort of dreamworld he was recounting. His father looked ahead calmly and zombie-like as if he heard it before, completely undisturbed by his sons overwhelming loudness. I mean it wasn't cute like "ooh look at the little boy telling a sweet little made up story." No it was like "somebody tell this kid to shut the bleep up." He was probably 8 or 9 years old and as he was screaming, he spread out the newspaper in front of him like it was a map and he looked up at his father "...And then there was the waterfall...And the monster....Who was trying to catch me....And that's why I don't go there anymore....its dangerous...I don't trust that place." I put my headphones on. An old lady comes on the bus and she's this precious sweet looking old woman and she she scoots her way to the first seat closest to her which is where this little boy is sitting. The father quickly grabs his son and places him a seat over so the old woman can sit down. The boy snaps. I take my headphones off. "I don't want her to sit down right here, Why can't she move, " he whines loudly. The poor lady sits there contemplating if she should just move. Every one's looking at this point including myself. You would think by now, it wouldn't phase me but this kid was kind of entertaining. So the father tries shushing him saying "C'mon now, don't act like that. Stop, don't be like that." He was so calm about it that I figured this must happen a lot because at this point, if that was me and my mother. My jaw would have been on one end of the bus and my tongue at the other end while pieces of my teeth would be scattered throughout the entire bus.


Then the kid yells MAN! AM I GOING TO HAVE TO SLAP SOMEBODY ON THIS BUS! DOES SOMEBODY NEED ME TO SLAP THEM! I kid you not, he looks at this old woman and says, "LADY! AM I GONNA HAVE TO SLAP YOU!" My mouth dropped. I literally had to pick it up off the floor. My usual poker face was gone and I was like, is this kid for real. The kid calms down after a minute and starts pretending to write in the newspaper. He's trying to show his dad something and as he dad picks up the paper. The kid snaps again. "AWWW MAN, you ripped my paper, how could you rip my paper, now I can't use this." The newspaper drops. "DAMN!" He yells. He eventually calms down and I know the dad is relieved and he even coughs a chuckle because sometimes when ya can't cry, you laugh. I just felt like that kid needed some medical attention because that was crazy but that's my crazies on the bus story. Gotta Love it.

I'm one of those extra complicated girls who dated some guys, fell in love with some guys but really somehow only ended up having one real boyfriend. When I really analyze my love life, there was really one boy where there was a definite claim to fame. I am his and she is mine. There was a title-He boyfriend and I girlfriend. We went on dates, we did things as a couple, we held hands. You know all that gushy and annoying stuff people who are together do. Yea well he's coming to my neck of the woods around Thanksgiving and I'm excited because a part of me is still desperate for some sort of friendship between us. We self destructed some years ago and never really put ourselves back together again. We would just occasionally kick the pieces around to see if the limbs still moved and then continue on her own paths that never really lead back to each other. I have a soft spot for him but then again I'll always have a soft spot for anyone that has some sort of significant meaning in my life. I'll never be able to let anyone go completely because once I love you, I love you for good. What do I want from him? I don't know, I guess I just thought we would still be friends and I don't know why that bothers me so much. I also fear he hasn't changed and he just wants what all men wants. To get what they "want" even if that "want" is the right "want". Ahhh, I'm thinking too much. It's 1:45 am, I should only be thinking this deeply about chocolate or ice cream. I would really like to see him though, that would make me happy.

I was gonna talk about something else involving men but it's still too weird. Sorry, its not me its you. Excuse me, I meant its not you its me. Sorry maybe next time.

I recently got drunk off Ebay for a couple of nights hence the great costume I found for a really really cheap price that I looooove by the way. Why am I so late about finding out about all this great stuff. Lets just say there were some nights I was clued to the computer eyes wide open, stone faced, typing and clicking. Occasionally, I would drop my eyes to the time on the bottom right corner: 12:40, 2:15, 5:50. It was getting pretty insane until I didn't really read the fine print about bidding and won a bid I did not want to win. Then it was Boooo ebay on to the next great addiction.

Hmmm, I like that Rihanna we found love. Song annnnnd video I'm afraid. Don't understand why people are tripping about the video. I think it's honest, an artful portrayal of a destructive relationship. Its like any addict who's addicted to drugs or alcohol, last time I checked that was reality. It's chaotic, sporadic, hectic, sad, painful, pleasurable....all the things that make up love and war. I guess I'm ending on that video...its 2:10 am goodnight!




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