Those Blues Singer Blues...Continued

Part 2

Let the record
Stand still
While I give you
My fill
On my mixed up
Dangled emotions
Circulatin’ through
The air and floatin’
Leavin’ you with
A bittersweet taste
One you’ll remember
And can’t erase
My blues have been hidden
In an inner place
But I’m ready to
Reveal those blues
On my pretty face

I held his heart
In my very hand
At that moment I held
The secret to his every plan
I wanted to keep it
For my own satisfaction
Cuz with every action he made
I carried the reaction
The way he used to look at me
Was so sweet and kind
But like darkness that
Overpowers the sunlight
His eyes shifted and I became
Far from a delight
I don’t know what happened
To make him change
But its his mind
Not his heart I blame
I still see the way
He fights with his eyes
Raging a war between
His anger and silent cries
With such passion
I’m askin’
If it was really meant
Between him and I
The only thing I can do
Is recollect and reply
“Some love is just too good to last.”
So I’ll just remember at least
We’ll have the past

Love is the main source
For the blues
Maybe the heart shouldn’t
Be red but blue
Causin’ heartache
With every pulsating beat
We can’t live without it
So the pain we keep
The heart is such
An unpredictable thing
So I understand blues singer
It is the reason why you sing
Every now and again
Don’t be alarmed by my presence
Just know that I got
Those same blues pressin’
So don’t be shocked
That you’re not alone in your sufferin’
Together we can paint the midnight sky
And start colorin’
The whole town
Not red but blue

Those Blues Singer Blues...

Part 1

If I can’t sing
You the blues
I might as well
Write you the tunes
Let the rhythm backslide
So in turn my lyrics might glide
Blues singer you can rest easy tonight
Because it’s the poets turn to
Shine in the spotlight

May I stand to the mic
And say my peace
Cuz poets got blues
We must speak and release
The color of me is not green or purple
Right now I’m colored blue

So please don’t be mad at me
Tonight blues singer
It’s not my voice but my words
That I want to linger
First I wanna kill them softly
And then hit ‘em a little rough
Cuz I want the world to
Hear my frustration
I want my words to
Lead an invasion
And attack your soul
With the pain I feel
Hold you hostage and make you listen
‘Cuz what I feel is real
Only to make you understand
That you’re not alone in your sufferin’
That I too am gettin’ those
Midnight blues and colorin’
The night sky
With not black but blue

We all got
Heartache and pain
Pumping through
These blood thirsty veins
So you see
Blues star
We aren’t too
Much afar
Between the lyrics
You sing and
My words that sting
Sometimes you just
Got to let the blues
Rule as king

In Times of War...

I wish I could be patriotic right now. I wish I could hold up my fighting flag and flaunt it in front of life's face and prepare for battle. Instead of running for battle, honestly all I want to do is runaway from battle. I never thought of ever, ever considering throwing up a white flag and I don't count on it but just the fact that I have even fathomed the thought is mind blowing.

I was downtown recently and I stopped by the park just to relax and gain excess to calm and peace(which apparently has been missing in action lately). It seems like ever since I came back from the Dominican Republic, my life seems so out of whack that I don't even know where to begin. It seems like I have a thousand different puzzle pieces mixed in with a thousand different other people's puzzles which are mixed with their own thousand pieces. I feel like I can't put myself back together again. All this patience, time, and effort is needed to do this and I'm loosing concentration.

Today in the park, my mind wondered into an oblivion...a pointless proposition I made with myself. Maybe I thought, I'll just runaway for awhile. I'll runaway with Him because we all know there's a Him. We'll runaway together and forget about the war life has started with me. Just for awhile though, until the war settles down of course.

We can go to that place where peace and calm live permanently so we'll never have to worry. The sun will be there, the moon, and even the stars. Everything will be perfect.

I'm downtown thinking this because I know the place(not really, just so that its far away from here) and I know the guy. But after the wishing and planning...reality B---- slaps me and wakes me the hell up. When did I get so tired? I'm at the ripe age for fighting, for being a soldier and here I am... tired. I'm still at that time in my life where I must fight to get to that place I wanna be. This is the important battle, the battle that's gonna determine if your gonna win the war. After that the battle gets a bit easier because you already fought for what you earned, its just a matter of keeping it.

So I try to keep meditating on Matthew 11:28 "Come ye all who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, for I am gentle and humble at heart, and I will give you rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." (See, I have it memorized so everytime I get shaky, I'll say these words). This simply is keeping me from not falling to pieces...its amazing really. God is truly powerful, slowly energizing me back to life when I could have sworn I checked the battery and noticed it was dead.

I'm undergoing Life's War....and it's pretty much at the stage where the good guy and bad guy have that last scene battle and near the end the bad guy is whooping the good guy. For a minute you almost think the bad guy just might win but we all know that there is something the good guy has that the bad guy doesn't and that's hope. Hope is why your still alive when you should be dead. Hope is why you win the fight when you thought all was lost.