Why I Love Foreign Men

My love life. (Blows out a loooong sigh, looks left and right, hoping to find answers or solace in this dark lit room. Silence. Another sigh. Even the air remains speechless.) I barely have the energy to explain my love life or the lack there of and has been for awhile.

I mean, I have enough dating, mentally challenged attempts at relationships that could fill a novel but a good long serious healthy loving relationship. Yeah, thats never quite happened for me. Or just a good ol' consistent series of healthy love moments...hell...just a good ol' consistent series of love instances, seconds, nano seconds. I've had short, inconsistent, incomplete, unhealthy love moments with men whom I've loved and I'll cherish those forever but no...its been awhile since there was a mutual claim that I am his and she is mine kind of thing.

There always seems to be these extra piles of complicated, miscommunication, drama, misunderstandings, fear, and pride that stops me dead in my tracks. I'm let down every time and now it just doesn't surprise me. Men don't surprise me, there words and actions are getting so predictable that now all I can do is chuckle a light hearted laugh that knew this moment was bound to happen. Walk out the door and never look back.

My bestie said it best, "Your bullshit quota has been reached." I fear she is right. I'm not the same girl that accepted all the mind games and went running back into the arms of someone hoping they would hold me back. I can't be that girl anymore and frankly, I don't want to be that girl anymore. I'm tired of being someones happy ending, where in the hell is mine? Where is the man to defy predictability, the ordinary, and be something amazing. Something I've never seen before.To grab a hold of me and not let me go. Just so we're clear, I'm not looking for the perfect guy or the guy who acts just like the other guy, I'm looking for the different guy. A rebel of the typical man who doesn't conform to the troublesome ways of our average thinking man today. You know the man who isn't scared to approach you, too scared to claim you, or the ones who aren't afraid of rejection. The ones who aren't all hot and bothered if the time is right, if they're stable enough. Ok I get it! It makes sense, these are things that are normal and should be thought about but why...why can't love be indulged in like a big bowl of chocolate ice cream. Does anyone just revel in it, enjoy and appreciate its beautiful moments anymore. Everyone's thinking too much, in turn, leaving yours truly completely loveless.

Where am I going with this, I think that's why I love foreign men. On the train today, suddenly I knew why I'm drawn to foreign men. Not just any foreign man but the foreign man who can't speak that much English. Aha! Just when you thought I couldn't think any crazier...I just keep thinking and getting all kinds of crazier. There's not alot of dialogue that can be shared which puts the focus on the chemistry, the emotion, the eyes, the touch. All these great things between a man and woman are suddenly enhanced because of the lack of words. Communication is great, trust me I know, I was a freaking communications major but when men and women talk, two different worlds collide and nothing makes sense anymore and all these words are sent back and forth which become corrupted and infected and becomes nothing but a destroyer of everything that could be. Its sounds crazy I know but take this example for instance:

I was in the Dominican Republic and there was this guy who was very persistent and I promise you we were so funny together because  he barely knew two words of English but I remember having the funnest time with him. I remember laughing the most with him. We had a magic that didn't need words, an understanding that we weren't afraid to deny. We were just effortless in many ways, enjoying each others company. We spent a lot of time pointing, motioning, pulling, and laughing. It was quite amusing and I enjoyed every minute of it.

The foreign man that I can't understand makes his intentions clear. He can't show me by words so he shows me by his actions. He pulls me close, he looks at me with passion, he touches me sweetly, his hands never leave me. The foreign man whispers words I don't know or understand in my ear but I like them because they're soft and gentle. The foreign man fights for me. The foreign man isn't afraid.

I love words, that's obvious. But sometimes it's the absence of words that you'll find the truth in its entirety. If actions speak louder than words....than some of the men I've been with are as quiet as a mouse.

I guess at the end of the day, I am not a fan of the big talker but of the big doer. So when words are limited, foreign men are more than happy to make up for it and I appreciate that. I feel like I just found a cheat sheet. When loves pretty much non-existent...go oversees. There's always someone there waiting to love you.

I NEED that passion, the urgency, the wanting, the right now love. Its alive, its lovely.

“Love is passion, obsession, someone you can’t live without. If you don’t start with that, what are you going to end up with? Fall head over heels. I say find someone you can love like crazy and who’ll love you the same way back. And how do you find him? Forget your head and listen to your heart. I’m not hearing any heart. Run the risk, if you get hurt, you’ll come back. Because, the truth is there is no sense living your life without this. To make the journey and not fall deeply in love – well, you haven’t lived a life at all. You have to try. Because if you haven’t tried, you haven’t lived.”- William Parrish in Meet Joe Black